Podcast Ep5 The BIG NOTHING In Animism
Originally Published March 9, 2022
Listen: Apple Podbean iHeart Radio
Script
Support this podcast by making a financial contribution, a purchase from my Amazon Wish List and/or sharing/liking/leaving a comment. Website site and social links are below.
Welcome to True Kinship with Animals, where we believe we all do better when ALL creatures do better. I’m Janet Roper and each week I share stories and suggestions with you on how to deepen your relationship with animals, moving you from ownership to true kinship.
On last week’s episode 4, we took a deep dive into animism and how true kinship fits within animism. Included in that conversation we touched on our responsibility as humans when it comes to true kinship.
If you haven’t had a chance to listen to episode 4 yet, and care to go back and do so, it laid a foundation for what we’re talking about today. But just so we’re on the same page about what animism is, my working definition is it’s an awareness of what is beyond myself, the belief that everything has a soul, is connected and because of that connection it is possible to be in true kinship with each other.
Today the topic we’re covering is when you have a certain dream or goal about your relationship with animals and reality falls short of that dream.
You’re not alone in this. We all have had dreams that fell short of reality. It happens to all of us, myself included. As a matter of fact it happens to me regularly. That’s life. You’re not a perfect stone model, you are a work in progress that is constantly in flow, moving back and forth towards your dream and goal of true kinship.
So many of us have been indoctrinated to believe when something goes wrong, it’s our fault, that we’re a failure, we did something wrong, or we don’t deserve that particular dream. Personally, I don’t buy that. What it means to me is that you are paying attention to what’s happening to your dream IRL, you are aware when something is off and you realize you have the choice to do some tweaking or re-evaulation of your goals and dreams.
That’s not bad news at all, right?
So let me ask you this - What are you aiming for in your relationship with animals?
I often ask that question to my human clients and when someone tells me they tried to deepen their relationship with an animal but things “didn’t go as planned”, my next question is “what was the plan?” Was it a cookie cutter plan you found on google, was it a pipe dream you saw on IG about what it was “supposed” to be or is it a plan based on the unique and flowing relationship between you and that particular animal?
Those Unvoiced Expectations
When it comes to true kinship with animals there are some unvoiced expectations floating in the air, which are based in colonized, settler thinking:
All animals are waiting with bated breath to have the chance to talk to us and share their message for our benefit
All animals are here as our helpers, guides or teachers
That coming into true kinship with animals “should” happen because of a single grand gesture on the human’s part
Been there, done that.
Some of those grand gestures might be:
Taking a weekend class
Reading the latest book
Signing up for an on-line webinar
Watching a video or listening to a podcast
Believing true kinship is a one and done thing. Do that one thing, check it off the list and BOOM! you’re done.
It has the ring of a fairy tale, doesn’t it? If you do those prescribed things and MAGIC will happen, you’ll be in true kinship with animals in no time!
We are conditioned to believe that when we do A, B will always be next.
Well, it’s that way except when it’s not.
So what happens when you do those prescribed things and the magic doesn’t happen?
I remember early on when I first started my exploration of animism, dipping my toes into the waters of true kinship with animals.This was probably about 15 or so years ago and in hindsight I now know I was harboring dreams of saving animals by being the greatest animal whisperer that ever lived.
I wanted to ‘save’ the animals that were less fortunate than my animal family. I wanted to ‘give a voice to the voiceless’ and help those poor animals who couldn’t help themselves.
No ego involved there, right???
And in all honesty, it wasn’t until years later, OK, let’s call it almost two decades later, that I learned about animals own agency and the vital part it has in true kinship with animals.
I didn’t realize at the time that my attitude put animals in a position where they needed to be saved by me, a person who knew what was best for them because I was a human and they were ‘just an animal’.
So, on my journey to become the greatest animal whisperer that ever lived, I signed up for a live class on animal communication.
That first morning I sat in the circle, excited, nervous and anxious. The morning was spent getting to know each other, learning about class expectations and then an introduction to animal communication which involved listening and taking notes. This was followed by a break. Then it was time for our first exercise.
The first exercise was asking the class dog a basic question - to ask her what she had to say about being the class dog.
I connected *just like I was told to do in the introduction that I had so assiduously taken notes on* and I got a …..
BIG NOTHING SOUNDS OF SILENCE
After the exercise it was time to share what we got.
Everyone got wonderful, positive tidbits from the dog. Then it was my turn to share about the BIG NOTHING.
It was humiliating. I felt guilt, shame and all those things that go along with ‘not good enough’.
Decades later, as an animist, I am now able to look back on that formative experience with compassion. I have forgiven myself for all the unnecessary guilt and shame I piled upon myself due to what I thought was my failing, my not being good enough.
There’s an entitled belief, usually unconscious, we humans carry with us when it comes to our relationship with animals - that the animals owe us whatever we are asking of them. When we ask for something and we get that BIG NOTHING (or an answer contrary to what is expected) it’s our fault, we’re doing something wrong.
When that happens, we need to realize the animal is coming from their own agency. And that’s a very good thing.
The assumption that it’s somehow our fault leaves some things out of the picture, some MIGHTY BIG things:
the animal’s own agency
the animal’s own wisdom & authority
the nurturing and tending of mutual, reciprocal, true kinship
Accepting An Animal’s Agency
Learning to recognize and accept the animal’s own agency is a BIG THING and it doesn’t happen overnight, or happen because it’s solely our intention to be in true kinship with an animal. When we start to recognize an animal’s agency, we are going against what society and culture has taught and engrained in us, what we all carry in our genes and what we often unconsciously think: We, the humans, have authority over animals.
My, that can be a heavy load!
But let’s get to the good news…..
Changes can be made in our relationship with animals, changes that are made with consistency and connection, one baby step at a time, sometimes moving forward, sometimes moving backwards.
Changes like:
Being present with the animal and waiting for the to lead you to the next step, IF there is even a next step
Being willing to sit in that uncomfortable space of BIG NOTHING, knowing this is what is and you’re not responsible for it
Recognizing when you slip into that ever-so-natural-and-usually-well-meaning state of disregarding the animal’s own agency
Knowing what your boundaries are; what is yours to work with and knowing what simply ‘is’ and doesn’t involve you
The Take Away
Making complex and cathartic changes like I described above are more easily made in a community of like minded folx. Why? Because we all sometimes need an outside eye to show where more change is needed, to model successful steps in making these changes, to reflect where and when old patterns keep popping up and most importantly, to celebrate and witness the good work as it’s being done.
So what do I want you to take away from this? When you’re connecting with the animals, be aware of yourself, how you’re approaching them. Learn to notice when old patterns and habits pop up that ignore or block an animal’s agency. Learn to notice, nurture and tend those new steps that you are taking that recognize and acknowledge the animal’s own agency.
Many thanks for joining me today. If you liked what you have heard, you can support this podcast by making a financial contribution, leaving a comment, giving the show a like, a follow and/or a share. To support this podcast with a financial contribution or to shop my wish list, visit my website at janetroper.com.
Just for today remember: We All do better when all creatures do better. Until next week, take good care!
